After months of avoiding this movie (I think it’s was simply because I kept hearing so much about it, and I already knew the outcome) I finally caved.
I’m glad I did. Another Oscar nod, The Blindside makes it into the immortal inspirational sports-movie realm.
And it deserves it. Now I’m anxious to see how it fairs at the awards.
I was anxious to see An Education for numerous reasons. It’s an Oscar nod for Best Picture, a BBC film (I’m a fan of those Brits) and my creative nonfiction professor suggested I see it because I would love it.
I didn’t.
And in fact, it angered me. Mainly because the characters are just stupid and driven by pleasure.
You’ll understand when you read the review. However, my editor did cut my last line which was sort of important in my point. I originally ended with how “Jenny learns to find character instead of just being a character. Something humanity could use an education in.”
Sometimes those opinions of mine are just too strong I guess.
This was a hard week; Precious isn’t your Friday-night fun movie, but it’s a movie worth seeing at least once. Make no mistake, it is graphic and hard to watch but moving. It’s a challenge.
I am anxious. And it’s driving me crazy. You would think that with all of my running and other extreme exercising, my mind would be pretty full of endorphins and peaceful.
But no. I’m still anxious and impatient.
Ew. Patience.
I think it is so heavy on my heart right now because I feel like these next few weeks are going to be the longest weeks of my life. It’s like the night before Christmas for a 5 year old (or… for me still , a 23 year old…). When you’re young, Christmas Eve is the worst night of the year because you have faith that Santa is coming at some point but you have to fall asleep in order for the morning to arrive and the stockings to be filled. But you want the morning to arrive so badly that you just can’t sleep because of excitement. And so the night drags on.
My favorite Christmas Eve story comes from my mom and her four siblings. They were all pretty young, but they tell the story about how one Christmas Eve they all sat on the stairs just waiting and waiting to come down. They kept yelling and asking their dad if they could come down. Finally, he gave in. It was 3 am.
That’s me right now. I’m waiting for my Christmas morning to arrive. Casey is coming home… but I don’t know when officially. A date, a strong rumored date in about two weeks, has been thrown out there, but it’s so hard to make travel plans and rearrange schedules and really feel like he is coming home until we know for sure that’s the day. Communication has been on the lag for about a week, and not talking to him kind of throws my heart out of wack. Even though not communicating with him means he’s more than likely moving around, traveling, and doing everything that needs to be done to come home.
I found myself praying yesterday, suddenly realizing that not only was this going to feel like the longest couple of weeks, but the scariest for me. Just because I worry, and like I said before, not talking with him or hearing from him makes my heart just feel funny. Even though I know I don’t have anything to worry about, but, I’m human…And even though not hearing from his is a very good thing!
In the rest of life, I’m also waiting to hear about a job I applied for. Which could or could not happen. Which also sort of directs me to move or not to move. If I can find other jobs to apply for and maybe get one. This also directs what races I want to run this summer, what tri club I would like to join…on and on and on.
I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m Peter. I’m waiting, but I’m waiting in the boat.
And God is watching me squirm (probably laughing a little at my silliness in all of this,) just waiting to see if I’ll step out on that water and trust. Because the truth about all of this, is that I know God is telling me to wait and to just have faith. To run the race knowing that the finish line is there. I am at a point in life where there is absolutely nothing I can do. And for control-freak me, that’s hard. Yet it shouldn’t be because I do this with my training and racing all the time. My current tri training is a 20 week program. Sure, I’d love to see some results after this week because my prep phase is over, but in reality, I have to keep persevering and quit worrying that my body is going to make it. Five weeks won’t get me into triathlete status. But putting in the time and work will. I have to trust that all the perseverance will culminate on race day.
That day when I finally cross the finishline.
It doesn't matter what you've heard
Impossible is not a word
It's just a reason for someone not to try
Everybody's scared to death
When they decide to take that step
Out on the water
It'll be alright
Life is so much more
Than what your eyes are seeing
You will find your way
If you keep believing
I've seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn't ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I've seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That's what faith can do
I want to step out on that water.
Which is why I am choosing to be the excited 5 year old and run the race, no matter how long the wait is.
Because that joyful morning always comes.
And crossing the finishline is a feeling like none other.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
— Philippians 4:6,7
I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.
— Philippians 4:12,13
Delight yourself in the LORD and He will give you the desires of your heart.
— Psalm 37:4
So far away from where you are
These miles have torn us worlds apart
And I miss you
Yeah, I miss you
So far away from where you are
Standing underneath the stars
I feel the beating of your heart
And I wish you were here
-Lifehouse, “From Where You Are”
How many of you have days and days or memories that you’d just like to forget? When I was seventeen, I made a list of hopes and aspirations for my life. They ranged from getting a tattoo, to kissing the Blarney Stone, to getting married in a church, to raising my kids in faith. It was full of silly things and important things. There is one, however, that falls under both categories. I hoped to someday sit on my back porch, while watching the sunrise, and look back on my life with no regrets.
Both strong and silly.
I find that a strong aspiration because as a seventeen year old it means I hoped to have enjoyed life and made perfect decisions, but as naive seventeen year old who knows nothing of the world, it was such a silly aspiration.
I am human after all and bound to make mistakes. So yes, even only a few years later, I already
have a list of pains and regrets.
Which makes me think of Groundhog Day. The movie of course. Here’s this bitter weather guy Phil reliving February 2nd over and over and over again until he learns and changes heart… only then can his life can move forward and he finds joy.
Because we are human, we often live our regrets. They haunt us with “if onlys…” and “what ifs…” and we can drown in our past by letting our present and future turn into a dark and cold winter.
But what if, for once, we stopped reliving them? What if, instead, we focused on those good and beautiful days that eventually followed, that perhaps would not have happened if we hadn’t had those difficult seasons?
My devotion this morning struck a nerve… it read “Several years ago I went through a season in which my future was up in the air. My anxiety was so high at times, I could hardly pray. Eventually I got through that difficult time. But I learned an important lesson along the way that I cling to whenever another tough season comes along: Christians are not exempt from difficult seasons in life. We can expect them regularly.” It went on to talk about how God is a healer, not a genie, and that we cannot expect preferential treatment from God, as if he owed us our health and well-being in exchange for faithfulness. But instead, to trust and love Him.
Those difficult, winter seasons will always plague us, and we will make mistakes and have regrets. But if we didn’t then we would never grow in faith or heart. Hebrews 12:10-11 says, But God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.
There was a season about a year and a half ago that brought a painful valley for me, but as I keep growing in faith, I keep seeing how God used that year to discipline me. I had to learn that the my world wasn’t, nor will ever be perfect, and had I not gone through that season, I would not have been able to experience the beautiful days of the past six months nor live the joyful days that are ahead of me. Granted, I still feel like I am at a place where my future is up in the air, and there are many days I find myself anxiety ridden. But I am learning to trust.
So perhaps instead of reliving those “if onlys…” and “what ifs…” I should be reliving the beautiful and joyful. As the literal winter always breaks way into summer, so will my days.
For me, that day was August 12, 2009. A simple dinner with an old friend that turned out to be the peace that God had prepared me for. Had I never gone through a broken heart, I would not be capable of the love God has given Casey and I. There is one moment from that dinner when he inquired about my future, looked into my eyes asking me to stay that I will never forget. It was the moment my heart began fully trusting God because I knew He had just revealed my sunshine.
This then is the beautiful and joyful day I would relive for the rest of my life.
What if your world was turned into a time loop and you found yourself reliving the same day, what beautiful and joyful day would you choose?
“When Chekhov saw the long winter, he saw a winter bleak and dark and bereft of hope. Yet we know that winter is just another step in the cycle of life. But standing here among the people of Punxsutawney and basking in the warmth of their hearths and hearts, I couldn't imagine a better fate than a long and lustrous winter.”
-Phil, Groundhog Day
I having a horrible time with this 300 word limit for my column, especially when I really enjoy a movie. So, after slicing the article in half, here is the original “Leap Year” review in case anyone would like more of my thoughts. I’ve linked the printed article in the second paragraph so you can check out the opostition.
* * * * *
When I was a kid, I used to give “movie kisses.” I’d grab my family by both cheeks, plant one on the lips and make that silly muah noise. I guess even then I realized a kiss was something special.
And as most romantic comedies would agree, “Leap Year” is no exception in the kissing department, especially when it offers advice to “always kiss like it’s the first time and the last time.”
Directed by Anand Tucker, “Leap Year” is the story of Anna’s (Amy Adams) journey to fulfill the old Irish myth that women can propose to their boyfriends on Leap Day.
After four years together, Anna’s perfect boyfriend Jeremy (played by Adam Scott) still hasn’t popped the question, so she, a perfectionist and planner, decides to take matters into her own hands as he heads off to Dublin for a work conference.
From the very beginning, I knew it wasn’t going to work out between Anna and Jeremy. Their blank faces, emotionless body language and the fact that they never shared a kiss portrayed the truth.
Besides, “Leap Year” is a romantic comedy after all, which means the appearance of the tall, dark and handsome other guy who is meant to overshadow the initial love interest.
Declan, the scruffy, emotionless, barkeep played by Matthew Goode, hooked me with his Irish accent. He entered the picture as Anna’s taxi service from Dingle to Dublin, and right away they had the apparent opposition to each other.
It took about forty-five minutes for the movie to finally get going, and I honestly wasn’t sure whether I was going to like it or not, even with my devotion to romcoms. Anna’s control-freak perfectionist nature and lack of appropriate walking footwear annoyed me.
However, the Irish countryside (even if the scenery filmed was actually the West of Ireland when the movie was set on the East coast) kept me immersed until THE kiss.
Because it’s always that first kiss, notoriously encouraged by someone who thinks the two strangers are together, when the love story starts.
I find it impossible for two strangers, who could not be more opposite, to fall in love, especially when one of them has been in another relationship for years….but I’m a hopeful romantic at heart.
And Anna and Declan did have a really passionate kiss.
And in real life, a kiss sure tells a lot. This I know.
Adams and Goode work well together, and by the end, there is a shift in their characters—Anna gives up her perfectionism and planning, while Declan falls into his emotions.
So even though I have watched this storyline a million times…
And even though real love takes more than three days….
And even though the final sunset kiss on the Cliffs of Moher was overly cliché…
I enjoyed every bit of the formulaic ending.
I may have even teared up a little bit as I found myself caring about the characters.
Because in the end, Universal Pictures’ “Leap Year” offers a little bit of something for all of us.
Like a kiss, it “makes the heart young again and wipes out the years.”
