Tree-trunk legs

For the first time in my training, I felt the rush and strength of being a triathlete. I had a back to back active rest week this week and since I just felt completely out of it last week, I pushed myself and added some workouts into my days. And mentally, I felt so good this week. Swimming gave me confidence, biking gave me strength, yoga gave me clarity and joy, and running gave me freedom. Then there was the fact that as I am re-racking weights in the gym one day during work (because boys are silly don’t understand the concept) I had a pretty good looking guy ask me if I was a track runner. “I was,” I said, but I graduated and so now I kind of do my own thing.”
“Ok. Well, your calves are huge so I was just kind of wondering.”
I looked at him and his as equally good-looking buddy (myself trying not to blush) and explained I was training for a triathlon.
“That explains it. It’s just when you were moving the weights I noticed the muscle flex all the way up your leg.”
Then I tried not to blush again or to let a huge smile spread across my face. I’m not sure if he meant it as a compliment because he wasn’t really flirting, but that one little phrase was a huge compliment to me and made me feel like a triathlete. For so many years I have hated the fact that I am curvy and short, and have ‘tree-trunk’ legs. But in a society that pushes tall and skinny as perfect, it’s hard to be accepting of yourself. However, over the course of the year I’ve started to realize the strength of my legs and yes, they are ‘tree-trunks’ but there is nothing unbeautiful about that. And by changing my mind set, I can run with a strength and grace I have never before had.
Yesterday was an absolutely gorgeous sunny day and about 65 degrees, odd for this time of the year. However, I took advantage of it. My legs were a little heavy from biking the day before and sore from yoga (I’m even hardcore with that!) so I planned a moderate twenty minute jog around my neighborhood. I weaved in and out of the cul-de-sacs but the day grabbed me and I pushed my tempo some. It was so lovely running and feeling the warmth of the sun on my face. Once again I understood why I am a runner. I feel so at peace when I run. I create. I feel beautiful, and confident, and empowered. I may never win an Olympic race or qualify as an Elite athlete, but I have the chance to run. And to me, that is enough.
While I was running I found myself wondering what is it that makes my legs move? I mean physically. How is it that our brains and bodies work so in sync that we go out, make the decision to place one foot in front of the other at a quick pace, and it happens so fast. I found myself wondering if it is just a natural (well, it is…) phenomenon. Do I really think about running while I am running? Or are my heart and head so connected that it just happens? I understand the science of it, even if I am not a science person, but it just struck me yesterday. There are so many things that make us run, but to run like I do is almost something I cannot explain. My legs seem to have a heart of their own because they keep moving. They have the strength to climb hills, to go the distance, and to put up with a whole heck of a lot of pain. They are strong. But I know they are still connected to my mentality.

There was a new piece of art installed on my campus in front of the rec center this week, in lieu of the opening and dedication. It’s called “The Runner.”At the ceremony the artist explained how his piece is meant to bring life to where it is; how it is meant to be implanted into the soul and inspire the movement that is in all of us. “The Runner” is molded into the running form, one leg firmly planted, the other grasping for movement. I think it is a beautiful and I see where the artist is coming from. I look at the statue every time I walk in the doors and I, too, feel the need to run. Something deep inside of me pulls and tries to break out. Running is my soul. And really, it is in all of us. It’s a natural thing because out bodies are made for motion, but there is something about the peace and clarity that comes from moving that pulls at us too. We are not meant to be clouded, and jaded, and caged, but meant to be free from whatever holds us and drags us down. When I run, even if it is the smallest of steps, I feel as if I am flying. I have escaped and am free. I am new and at peace. I am searching for adventure and longing for that finish line. I am trusting in the strength of my legs to keep me going, wherever I am going too.

A girl at work asked me this yesterday if I ever have bad days, because she can’t imagine I do. But I am human and I have lots of bad days… but I think the freedom I feel from running carries over into the rest of my life. Or at least I have been trying to let it. When I run I feel grace—the chance that I have at life because my God has given it to me. For me, grace is a spiritual thing but also a human thing. Grace is a belief, it is love and a chance given but not deserved. Grace is also inside of me giving me confidence and beauty and strong legs. It is a mindset, a joy, hope. It is my run.
Even so, no matter how much I train physically, if I ignore the mentality of it all, I will get no where. Maybe that’s why my last week was tough, because my mind was just a little down. My legs, no matter how strong, are connected to my mind and so when it is not in the right place, they struggle. Our bodies realize when we stop believing in ourselves, and then they will break down. We are all created different, but we are all created good. And we all have wings longing to take us somewhere.

Let yourself fly.

“Since everything God created is good, we should not reject any of it but receive it with thanks. For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come”

-1 Timothy 4: 4, 8